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Someone once told me that anybody can be a sperm bank, but it takes a real man to be a father. Most men probably strive to be good fathers and wish they could be “ great fathers,” but greatness, like beauty and many other things in our world, is in the eye of the beholder.

 

The question then is, what makes a good father? Is it a man who makes a lot of money and can buy his kids everything they desire? Or is it a man who makes an honest living, barely getting by, paycheck to paycheck, and spends every bit of his free time with his kids, making memories or teaching them valuable lessons? Could it be a man who stays at home while his wife works, ignoring the sexist gender roles of society that place certain expectations on men and women?

 

To answer this, we could look at numerous examples of how the man who makes boats full of money isn’t always present in his kids’ lives, prioritizing work over his children, whereas the man with less ensures he’s there for his children.

What about the deadbeat father who is absent from his kids’ lives and only pays child support because he’s forced to via court order? This was my father, who ran every time he was located to avoid these responsibilities. My mother eventually quit trying, and I had never heard a single word from the guy my entire life.

 

How does one learn to be a father when they don’t have any good examples? This was also my experience. The men my mother chose to have in our lives following my father were abusive in every way possible, violent alcoholics, drug abusers, and dealers. Growing up in such an environment, I should have turned out the same way, but through the grace of God, I didn’t. Instead, I went to college and got an education; now, to say that this education got me anywhere would be false. Graduating with a master’s degree in Public Administration when a global pandemic hit and changed things forever wasn’t ideal. The Trump Administration 2.0 is now axing many positions affecting the federal government and states, making finding public sector and government jobs even more difficult.

 

Currently, I stay at home with my children while my wife makes more than enough money for us to get by. What makes me a good father? Is it that I’m with my kids daily, teaching them lessons and spending quality time with them? Is it that I’m present in their lives and always will be? I will start studying for the LSAT to see if I can get an all-expense-paid journey through law school. I want my daughters to know that not age, gender, or any obstacle can stand in the way of making the world theirs. Does this make me a good father? I think so!

 

So, what makes a good father? Quality time, love, patience, kindness, and always being there. It’s not money nor fame but doing what is right by your children, protecting them from harm of all kinds, and teaching them right from wrong, hoping they take all that you show and teach them to heart and pray that they take those things to heart; forge their own path and make better decisions than you. What makes a good father is putting their kids before all else. I have done this, and all those who have done the same are good fathers.

 

Thank you for reading! Please check out my other articles and short stories here on Medium.

 

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